Feb 25

Feb 13

To all my chinese friends….Happy chinese new year.


Jan 22

Salary Payment Schedule for 2010

Month Date Day Notes
January 25.01.2010 Monday -
February 08.02.2010 Monday Chinese New Year 14 & 15.02.2010
March 25.03.2010 Thursday -
April 22.04.2010 Thursday -
May 24.05.2010 Monday Pesta Menuai 30 & 31.05.2010
June *24.06.2010 Thursday Gawai Day 1 & 2.06.2010
July 22.07.2010 Thursday -
August 25.08.2010 Wednesday -
September *23.09.2010 Thursday Hari Raya 10 & 11.09.2010
October 25.10.2010 Monday -
November 10.11.2010 Wednesday Hari Raya Haji 17 & 18.11.2010
Deepavali 05.11.2010
December 20.12.2010 Monday Christmas Eve 25.12.2010

Source : ANM

Jan 06

1.Alcoholism

Children of alcoholics are not destined to be alcoholics too. But recent research reports about 50 percent of the risk for alcoholism is genetically determined. The environment accounts for the other risky half. The disease is considered genetically complex, meaning that several genes come into play and they can affect individuals differently. Continue reading »

Dec 31

PUTRAJAYA, 31 Dis: Rakyat mendapat hadiah tahun baru dari kerajaan apabila harga runcit gula dinaikkan sebanyak 20 sen sekilogram kepada RM1.65 di Semenanjung dan RM1.75 di Sabah dan Sarawak mulai 12 tengah malam ini.

Menurut kenyataan, kenaikan ini berikutan kenaikan harga gula mentah dunia.

Perkara tersebut diumumkan oleh Ketua Setiausaha Kementerian Perdagangan Dalam Negeri, Koperasi dan Kepenggunaan Datuk Mohd Zain Mohd Dom di sini hari ini.

Source : Harakahdaily

Dec 30

T-tube cholangiogram.

By taqidoc Radiology, Uncategorized Comments Off

What is T-tube cholangiogram?

A T-tube cholangiogram is a fluoroscopic procedure in which contrast medium is injected through a T-tube into the patient’s biliary tree. The T-tube is most commonly inserted during a cholecystectomy operation when there is a possibility of residual gall stones within the biliary tree.

Indications:
1. to exclude biliary tract calculi where :
(a) operative cholangiography was not performed or
(b) the results of operative cholangiography are not satistactory

2. Assessment of biliary leaks following biliary surgery.

Contraindications : None

Contrast medium : HOCM or LOCM 150; 20-30 ml.

Equipment : Fluoroscopy unit with spot film device.

Patient preparation :

• patient identification (3 Cs- correct patient, correct side, correct   procedure)
• Patient should be wearing a hospital gown
• consent form
• no diet restrictions (some centres suggest fast from solids for 4 hours prior to procedure)
• collect relevant previous imaging for ease of access prior to procedure
• ? prophylactic dose of broad spectrum antibiotic prior to procedure (immunosupressed patients)
• Some operators prefer the T-tube to be clamped prior to the procedure to allow the bile duct to fill with bile. Air in the bile duct can give a false impression of a gallstone.

Preliminary film : Coned supine PA of the right side of the abdomen.

Technique :
1. The examination is performed on or about the tenth postoperative day,prior to pulling out the T-tube.
2. The patient lies supine on the x-ray table. A slightly RPO position can help to ensure the CBD is not superimposed over the patient’s spine. The drainage tube is clamped and tip is cleaned thoroughly with antiseptic.
3. A 23-G needle, extension tubing and 20ml syringe are assembled and filled with contrast medium. The T-tube should be raised and tapped to ensure there are no air bubbles lurking in the tube. After all air bubbles have been expelled, the needle is inserted into the tubing between the patient and the clamp. The injection is made under fluoroscopic control, the total volume depending on duct filling.
4. The entire biliary tree should be imaged during injection of contrast medium.Injection should continue until the entire biliary tree is opacified and there is passage of contrast into the duodenum.If the intrahepatic ducts do not fill, the patient can be tilted trendelenburg and further contrast injected into the T-tube.The patient may need to lie on their left hand side to fill the left hepatic duct.

Films : PA and oblique view under fluoroscopic control.

This is an AP/PA supine T-tube cholangiogram image. The biliary tree is outlined with contrast medium. It appears to be extravasation of contrast medium outside the biliary tree and minimal contrast in the duodenum.

Aftercare : None.

Complications:

Due to contrast medium : The biliary ducts do absorb contrast medium and cholangiovenous reflux can occur with high injection pressures.Adverse reactions are therefore possible but the incidence is small.

Due to technique : Injection of contrast medium under high pressure into an obstructed biliary tract can produce septicaemia.

Patient’s Information :

Preparation

  • Tell the technologist if you have any allergies (especially to iodine or seafood).
  • You will be asked to sign a consent form.
  • Your doctor will order food or fluid restrictions before the test.
  • Do not wear jewelry to your appointment.

Procedure :

  • You will be asked to put on a hospital gown.
  • You will be on an x-ray table as the radiologist injects x-ray contrast into the T-Tube.
  • You will be asked to hold your breath as the x-rays are taken.
  • You may feel a bit of pressure as the dye is injected.
  • The procedure takes approximately 15-30 minutes.
  • The dye which is colourless will drain into the drainage bag once the test is completed.

After the Test

  • You may eat and drink normally.
  • Return to your normal activity.
  • Contact your physician if you have pain, any itching or rash post procedure.
  • patient should remain in hospital for observation for at least 24 hours post procedure
  • If the T-tube is removed at the end of the procedure, the wound should be checked for bile leakage for 24 hours

Reference :

  1. http://www.wikiradiography.com/page/T-tube+Cholangiogram
  2. A Guide to Radiological Procedure by Stephen Chapman
  3. http://www.tbrhsc.net/patient_information/reference_information/T-Tube_cholangiogram.asp
Dec 13

One-quarter of Europeans believe that “Jews have too much influence”anti semite

31% agree that “Jews in general do not care about anything or anyone but their own kind.”

45.7% of the Europeans somewhat or strongly agree that “Israel is conducting a war of extermination against the Palestinians.”

About 37.4% agree with the following statement: “Considering Israel’s policy, I can understand why people do not like Jews.”

Introduction by Gilad Atzmon

According to new research conducted by Bielefeld University hatred towards2368229983_ae681acbf8 Muslims decreased over the past year while hatred of Jews is growing. Israelis must be concerned. The sudden drop in European Islamophobia doesn’t fit into the Zionist global plan in which Muslims are cornered and ostracised as reactionaries while Israel is dropping bombs in the name of democracy and liberalism. According to the leading Israeli paper Ynet, “the level of resentment against most minorities declined – sexism considerably, Islamophobia slightly. There were only two exceptions: homophobia and anti-Semitism.”(1)

Interestingly enough Ynet reports that “the percentage of people who believe ‘that there are too many Muslims’ in their country is especially high in those countries that actually have a low percentage of Muslims living in them.” One possible explanation may that within European countries benefiting from a large Muslim population, the fear of Islam is actually dissipating. This is not at all surprising given the fact that both Islamic and Christian cultures share very similar universal values and ethical precepts. Unlike Jewish ideology that maintains a certain level of tribal, cultural and social segregation and supremacy, Muslim communities seem to collectively merge into the working classes through the work place, education and economy.

Jewish Power

According to the research very many Europeans are concerned with Jewish domination and power. One-quarter of Europeans (24.5%) believe that “Jews have too much influence”, and nearly one-third (31%) agree that “Jews in general do not care about anything or anyone but their own kind.” Bearing in mind the embarrassing fact that 50% of MPs in Britain’s shadow cabinet are Conservative Friends of Israel we can safely assume that, unlike our politicians, the voters out there are largely waking up to the danger of Zionist infiltration.

Ynet also has some ‘good news’ to report. “61.9% say that Jews “enrich our culture”, especially in the Netherlands, Britain and Germany.” The fact that Jews and ex Jews (in particular) enrich European life is indeed hard to ignore, yet setting aside Lord Cashpoint Levy and Uri ‘Spoon Bending’ Geller, it seems as if, amongst those Jews who contribute to European cultural life, not many openly identify with Israel and its crimes.

As much as Israel uses every possible means to drag us all into an endless war against Islam, the Europeans are coming to terms with the devastating reality of Zionist murderous brutality. Some 45.7% of the Europeans either “somewhat or strongly” agree that “Israel is conducting a war of extermination against the Palestinians.” In case someone fails to understand the meaning of it all, I will say it plainly: almost half of the Europeans accept that Israel employs genocidal tactics. They basically agree that Israelis are the Nazis of our time. According to Ynet, about 37.4% agree with the following statement: “Considering Israel’s policy, I can understand why people do not like Jews.”

Zionism was there to create a civilized loveable Jew. Not only has it failed, thanks to Israel and Zionism, the resentment towards Jews seem to be greater than ever. The meaning of it all is rather obvious. Israel and its supporting lobbies failed to internalise the real universal meaning of the Holocaust: ‘love thy neighbour’. Instead of ethnic cleansing, starving and dropping white phosphorous, Israel should have learned to live amongst others.

If Europe is as democratic as it claims to be, this clear, escalating animosity towards Israel, Zionism and their relentless lobbies will mature eventually into a political shift.

(1) A clarification is needed here: ‘anti-Semitism’ is a misleading notion. When people refer to ‘anti Semitism’ what they really mean is ‘anti Jewish feelings’. The notion of ‘anti-Semitism’ is there to give a false impression that Jews are a racial group. The truth of the matter is obvious, Jews are neither a race nor have they established a racial continuum. In fact no one resents Jews for their racial belonging or ethnicity. Anti Jewish feelings is in most cases a political and ethical reaction to Jewish tribal politics, Zionism, Israel, Israeli lobbying, global Zionist affairs, Jewish ideology, Jewish supremacy, Israeli war crimes and so on.

Europe: Anti-Semitism up, Islamophobia down by Sarah Stricker

Ynetnews 6.12.09

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3815828,00.html

Study on ‘group-focused enmity’ conducted by researchers from University of Bielefeld in Germany finds hatred of Muslims decreased over past year, while hatred of Jews and homosexuals growing. Poland defined as most racist country.

Right-wing parties are growing stronger in Europe, and Swiss citizens have even voted in favor of a ban on mosque minarets, yet the fear or hatred of Islam in the continent has dropped over the past year, according to a study conducted in Germany and published Sunday. However, hatred of Jews and homosexuals is on the rise.

For the last eight years, the Institute for Interdisciplinary Research on Conflict and Violence at the University of Bielefeld has been running an annual study called “German Conditions” to learn about “group focused enmity” such as xenophobia, sexism, racism, anti-Semitism, and prejudices against unemployed, disabled, homeless or homosexual people in Germany.

Due to the financial crisis and the fears of the future, poverty and unemployment that are being stoked by that, the researchers expected a rise this year.

But compared to last year’s results (as well as those of 2002), the level of resentment against most minorities declined – sexism and racism even considerably, Islamophobia slightly. There were only two exceptions: Homophobia and anti-Semitism.

Hatred of both groups is on the rise as they are considered to be found also among people of a high status.

Beate Kupper, one of the study’s main researchers, believes that the financial crisis may in fact be a possible explanation for that. Kupper said that although in comparison to other European countries Germany was on average, it was staggering that in the light of German history, 48% still agreed with anti-Semitic statements.

For the first time, the study also compared xenophobia among European countries like Britain, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Italy, Portugal, Poland, and Hungary. According to their findings, the level of prejudices against minorities in Europe is alarming.

About 50.4% of the population agreed that “there are too many immigrants” in their country, 54.4% believe that “the Islam is a religion of intolerance.” Interestingly enough, the percentage of people who believe “that there are too many Muslims” in their country is especially high in those countries that actually have a low percentage of Muslims living in them.

Nearly one-third (31.3%) of the Europeans somewhat or strongly agree that “there is a natural hierarchy between black and white people”. A majority of 60.2% stick to traditional gender roles, demanding that “women should take their role as wives and mothers more seriously.” Some 42.6% deny equal value of gay men and lesbian women and judge homosexuality as “immoral”.

Hiding behind criticism of Israel

Anti-Semitism is also still widely spread in Europe. The team of scientists from the universities of Amsterdam, Bielefeld, Budapest, Grenoble, Lisbon, Marburg, Oxford, Padua, Paris, and Warsaw found that 41.2% of Europeans believe that “Jews try to take advantage of having been victims during the Nazi era”. The highest degree of affirmation was in Poland – 72%, and the lowest in the Netherlands – 5.6%.

One-quarter of Europeans (24.5%) believe that “Jews have too much influence”, and nearly one-third (31%) agree that “Jews in general do not care about anything or anyone but their own kind”. On the other hand, 61.9% say that Jews “enrich our culture”, especially in the Netherlands, Britain and Germany.

They study also measured the degree of anti-Semitism hidden behind a specific criticism of Israel’s policy towards the Palestinians that uses anti-Semitic terms such as “war of persecution” and a generalization to “all Jews”.

Some 45.7% of the Europeans (apart for France, where this facet of anti-Semitism was not measured) somewhat or strongly agree that “Israel is conducting a war of extermination against the Palestinians.” About 37.4% agree with the following statement: “Considering Israel’s policy, I can understand why people do not like Jews.”

Overall, the level of anti-Semitic attitudes varies quite a lot across Europe with comparably lower levels of anti-Semitic attitudes in Britain and the Netherlands and significantly higher levels in Portugal, and especially Poland and Hungary.

Source : World News

Nov 25

November 25, 2009 09:07 AM
Malaysians Consume Sugar At Alarming Levels, Warns Physioterapist


By Azman Ujang

KUALA LUMPUR, Nov 25 (Bernama) — The sugar intake by Malaysians has reached a “very alarming” stage and the country will continue to incur huge economic and social costs unless they change their “sweet-toothed” lifestyle, a prominent physiotherapist warned Tuesday.sugar

Dr B. S. Bains said some 14.5 per cent of the 26 million Malaysians are down with diabetes with the number growing at a seemingly uncontrollable rate.

On average, Malaysians consume around 120 grams of sugar a day. The recommended intake is 50 grams.

Dr Bains, who is president of the Physiotherapy Association of Malaysia and chief executive officer of the Bains chain of physiotherapy clinics, said the high sugar content of many of the favourite food and drinks consumed by Malaysians was a major cause of diabetes.

In an interview with Bernama, he identified Malaysians’ propensity to drink “teh tarik” (tea with condensed sweetened milk) as the number one culprit for the high sugar consumption.

Recently, Consumers Association of Penang (CAP) president S.M. Mohamed Idris said Malaysia’s “national drink” or teh tarik contained about six teaspoons of sugar.

Saying that the human body does not need extra sugar, he added that sugar, which was devoid of nutrients, “acted more like a drug”, and was linked to over 60 ailments such as cancer, diabetes, obesity, heart problems, osteoporosis, kidney problems, asthma and other allergies.

“It’s time the consumers were given the alternative of choosing fresh milk or unsweetened milk in their teh tarik. Why must it be confined to condensed milk only?” Dr Bains asked.

He appealed to the government to start a major campaign to change the people’s eating habits and “engineer their sugar intake”.

Such a long over-due national campaign should be started in line with Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak’s “People First, Performance Now” slogan.

“The government certainly is the biggest agent of change and what better way than to earnestly start this campaign for a healthy population. We just can’t go on building more and more expensive hospitals and footing the huge costs associated with health care,” he said.

Dr Bains also urged the government to seriously revisit what he described as the country’s “blatant sugar democracy” where sugar was too freely used in virtually all food items.

Reducing sugar intake would also mean the government saving billions in subsidy for the commodity.

He also suggested that the local authorities should review the issuing of licences for new 24-hour “teh tarik” outlets as Malaysia already had far too many of these ubiquitous stalls.

“Because of such outlets, many people who are supposed to rest and sleep are drinking teh tarik at 2 or 3 am. Their brain, body, muscles, bones are not resting and that’s why they fall sick easily.

“How are they supposed to give their best at their workplace the next day?” he asked, adding that the existence of these 24-hour stalls was making people to be out of their homes at uncivilised hours, thus adding to the accident and crime rates.

Source : BERNAMA

Nov 21

This short story written by my beloved wife..Have a nice reading..muslimah1a

Ah! Bosan! Tak ada soalan lain ke mereka nak tanya? Balik-balik soal aku yang masih solo ini juga yang diperkatakan. Pelik benarkah gadis berumur 27 macam aku ni masih belum terbuka hati lagi hendak bernikah. Ini zaman moden, zaman teknologi, zaman siapa cepat, bijak dan kuat berusaha, dia akan jadi juara. The loser must fall. Dan aku…Zahratul Ulya Ahmad Amir bukanlah dari mereka yang tewas. Argh…biarkanlah Mak Lang, Mak Uda dan Cik Ida tu. Dah bosan bercerita diamlah mereka. Fitrah manusia. Jangan biarkan halangan sekecil itu membantutkan cita-citamu yang satu itu Zahratul Ulya. Cita-citaku yang satu itu??

“Umi..Lia nak berjaya dulu, nak bahagiakan Umi dan adik-adik. Setelah ayah pergi kami dah banyak susahkan Umi. Inilah peluang Lia nak balas jasa Umi.Lia harap Umi faham dan tak desak Lia terima lamaran sesiapa lagi”

Itulah alasan yang selalu kuberikan pada Umi. Bila keluarga Ajmal datang merisik, keluarga Ustaz Mukhlis datang bertanya semuanya ditolak dengan alasan yang sama.

Setiap kali alasan itu diutarakan Umi hanya mampu terdiam, dibiarkan alasan tiada berbalas hujjah. Dan aku tahu Umi sebenarnya hampa dengan penolakanku itu. Wajah Umi yang selalu tenang itu tidak dapat menyembunyikan kehampaannya. Maafkan Lia Umi. Bukan niat Lia untuk menghampakan Umi. Satu hari Umi akan tahu jua. Umi akan arif jua, insyaAllah.

Biarlah masa berlalu, Zahratul Ulya akan sedaya upaya berusaha menggapai impiannya. “Ya Allah, Engkau yang Maha Tahu, padaMu sahajalah tempat aku bergantung harap, Kau berkatilah usahaku ini, Kau bimbinglah Aku mencari cintaMu dalam diri insan yang MencintaiMu melebihi kecintaan kepada apa-apa pun di dunia ini”

Jurnal Ulya,

20 Mac 2005

Ada sedikit perkembangan. Semalam Athirah mendapat maklumat bahawa dia sudah beristeri. Aduh walangnya hati ini, Ya Allah inikah kesudahannya? Tetapi baru sekejap tadi Athirah SMSku, “Lia, selamat berjuang. Perempuan yang aku nampak semalam itu adiknya, dia masih solo, moga Allah mempermudahkan urusanmu. Aku macam terbau nasi minyak pulak..heheh”

Terima kasih sahabat, semoga Allah memberkati usahaku ini.

Berusahalah Zahratul Ulya.

Setelah pulang dari Mahkamah Tinggi menyelesaikan urusan auction, Ulya pulang ke pejabat. Ada 3 jam lagi sebelum pukul dua petang. Nanti dia akan ke sana lagi. Untuk sebutan kes baru yang dikendalikannya. Begitulah rutin Ulya. Memang memenatkan. Apatah lagi bekerja dengan orang. Bila cukup wang dan pengalaman, Ulya menyimpan angan-angan untuk memiliki firma guaman sendiri. Cita-citanya mahu membela nasib anak bangsa sendiri. Mungkin kata orang itu hanya angan-angan tapi Zahratul Ulya percaya setiap impian bermula dengan angan-angan. Ulya selalu teringat kata-kata perangsang yang dibacanya ketika dia di bangku sekolah menengah. Kata Carl Sandburg, “nothing happens unless first a dream”. Dan sebagai seorang Muslimah, Ulya sedar dia memikul tanggungjawab membetulkan persepsi bahawa wanita Islam tidak terbela dan ditindas. Zahratul Ulya mahu membuktikan wanita Islam boleh berjaya kerana mereka diberikan hak yang sama rata seperti jua lelaki. Dan hak ini dijamin Allah di dalam Al Quran. Kalam Allah itu benar semuanya.

Ulya menghabiskan hirisan tembikai susu. Itulah makan tengah harinya hari ini. Tadi, sebelum ke pejabat dia berselera sekali menjamah sarapan yang disediakan Umi. Air tangan Umi memang serasi dengan Ulya. Iyalah, Ulya kan anak Umi!

15 minit lagi sebelum msuk waktu Zuhur. Ulya mengenakan telekung, menghampar sejadah. Alhamdulillah, Ulya punya bilik sendiri. Tidak pelusemayang berkongsi dengan Jane, Suganthi atau Hafiz dan Desmond. Jadi dia bebas di biliknya. Nak buka tudung pun tiada masalah. Ulya bersiap awal, membaca Al Quran sebelum solat. Ulya telah melazimkan dirinya membaca 4 halaman Al Quran setiap kali selepas solat. Hari ini dia tidak upaya melakukannya selepas solat lalu dia membacanya sebelum solat. Nanti terkejar-kejar pula  ke mahkamah. Terlambat nanti, nayalah dia dimarahi tuan hakim. Ulya tidak mahu itu terjadi.

“Wanita-wanita yang keji adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang keji dan lelaki-lelaki yang keji adalah buat wanita-wanita yang keji (pula) dan wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang baik dan lelaki-lelaki yang baik untuk wanita-wanita yang baik (pula)…”

Ayat 26 Surah An Nur itu diulang-ulang. Didalami sepenuh hati. Ayat Allah itulah yang memotivasi Ulya mengenali dan mendekati ‘dia.’ Jejaka yang telah mencuri perhatian Ulya. Ulya memasang angan-angan sejak kali pertama berselisih dengan jejaka itu di sebuah masjid di tengah-tengah ibu kota. Ulya jarang-jarang pergi ke masjid itu. Hanya bila dia berkesempatan dan rindu untuk bersembahyang jemaah.

Perigi mencari timba! “Kau ni biar betul Lia, aku nak tanya ni..tapi kau jangan marah. Kau tak takut ke nanti orang kata perigi mencari timba?”Itulah reaksi pertama Athirah setelah kusuarakan hasrat hatiku agar dia membantuku menjejaki ‘dia’. Athirah bekerja sebagai juruaudit di Allen & Bourne.  ‘Dia’ pula adalah seorang konsultan di Annajah Training Centre, pejabat mereka di bangunan yang sama.“ Thirah, aku tak kisah apa pun pandangan orang lain. Apa salahnya perempuan yang memulakan? Aku rasa istilah “perigi mencari timba” perlu kita hapuskan saja. Sanggup kau kata Saidatina Khadijah Radiallahu Anha itu macam perigi mencari timba? Saidatina Khadijah melamar Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. kerana tertarik dengan kesempurnaan akhlak baginda. Saidatina Khadijah jatuh cinta dengan keperibadian Rasulullah s.a.w. Kau tahu tak kenapa aku masih sendiri? Kerana aku mencari, Thirah, aku mencari yang terbaik”. Yang terbaik untuk  kuisi di lapisan  dalam sukmaku. Mencari yang layak menghuni strata sukmaku. Athirah cuma mampu memandangku.

Alhamdulillah, Athirah teman sekampusku itu sudi membantu. Tentu saja dia tidak menghampakan aku. Sejak setahun lalu, Athirah sedikit sebanyak membantu aku mengenali ‘dia’. Kata Athirah, dia dah jadi macam Inspektor Aliza dalam siri Gerak Khas! Athirah pernah menyamar sebagai klien yang berminat mengetahui khidmat yang ditawarkan Annajah Training Centre semata-mata ingin mendapatkan maklumat mengenai ‘dia’. 28 tahun, BSc. Mech. Engineering dari Purdue University, West Lafayette. Memberansangkan, tapi kenapa dia memilih menjadi konsultan? Graduan luar negara sepertinya tentu saja tidak menghadapi masalah menempatkan diri di syarikat besar. Dan satu lagi, ‘dia’ ini sangat simple orangnya. Konsultan yang aku tahu biasanya berpakaian kemas, tapi dia selalu berkemeja biasa dan berkopiah pula. Sungguh dia mencuri perhatianku. Argh Ulya, berhenti bermimpi. Fikirkan tindakan seterusnya. Azan berkumandang dari masjid di tengah ibu kota. Tentu ‘dia’ sudah di masjid… Hey Ulya! Kau berkhayal lagi. Dirikan solat mu dengan khusyu!’

Jurnal Ulya bertambah lagi.

15 April 2005

Tadi sewaktu makan tengah hari Athirah mencadangkan aku berterus terang padanya. “Bagaimana?” soal ku. “Gunakan faedah teknologi. Read this” Athirah menghulurkan pamphlet ‘Islamic Way of Handling Stress’- Annajah Training Centre. “What is this?”. Aku mengangkat kening tanda tak faham. “Look at the back”. Ada nama ‘dia’ berserta alamat e-melnya, nombor telefon pejabat dan juga nombor telefon bimbitnya. “Kau boleh e-mel dia, kalau kau takut. Kalau berani sikit SMS, kalau lagi berani, call dia”. “Zahratul Ulya memang wanita berani, aku akan jumpa dia face to face!”. Athirah terhenti menyuap. Dia memandangku, terlongo. “Kenapa? Tak percaya”. Ulya tekad.

22 April 2005

Gementar? Siapa kata aku tak gementar. Bagai nak luruh jantung. Di tengah-tengah masyarakat yang masih utuh memegang adat perigi tidak boleh mencari timba, aku menongkah arus. Biarlah apa orang nak kata. Tapi, nanti apa kata ‘dia’?. Argh! Teruskan Zahratul Ulya, belum cuba belum tahu. Kejayaan itu milik orang yang kuat semangat.

“Assalamualaikum, saudari…?”

“Ulya…Zahratul Ulya”

“Alhamdulillah, cantik nama tu.”

“Saudari Ulya dari agensi mana dan module mana yang saudari berminat?”

“Saya…saya..err..sebenarnya saya datang bukan untuk tujuan itu”

“Mmm..bagaimana saya boleh bantu saudari?”

Zahratul Ulya mengumpul kekuatan.

“Saya ingin mengenali saudara…dengan lebih dekat. Mungkin saudara tidak percaya, tapi saya telah lama memerhatikan sudara dari jauh”

Khali seketika. ‘Dia’ tidak memberi reaksi seperti yang ku jangkakan. Tak terkejutkah dia? Tak pelikkah ‘dia’ perigi yang mencari timba? Tak ada perasaankah ‘dia’ ni? Ajaib. ‘Dia’ sekadar tersenyum. ‘Dia’ memang manusia ajaib.

25 April 2005

Mendapat e-mel pertama dari ‘dia’.

Assalamualaikum saudari Ulya. Keberanian saudari menambat hati saya. Saya perlu lebih mengenali saudari. Dalam diam, sebenarnya saya telah lama memerhatikan saudari. Saya tidak pernah terlepas membaca nukilan berkala saudari di majalah Usrati. Penulisan yang sarat idea dan pengajaran. Tak sangka penulisnya begitu bersahaja orangnya. Saya bangga dengan usaha saudari. Setiap amal yang baik yang dilakukan dengan ikhlas akan mendapat ganjaran yang baik jua daripadaNya.

Cuma, saya masih perlukan ruang untuk diri saya sendiri. Mencari cinta Ilahi tidak semudah memiliki cinta insani. Kalau sudah ketentuan Ilahi kita bersama, insyaAllah akan dipermudahkan olehNya.

HambaNya yang dhaif,

Ahmad Musyaahiid.

Memerlukan ruang untuk dirinya sendiri? Berikan aku sedikit ruang untuk tulus mengenalimu, Ahmad Masyaahiid. Ulya memasang angan-angan. Argh! Berangan lagi!

Dua minggu, tiga minggu. Sepi. Tiada e-mel kedua darinya. Dan tiada pula bayangnya di masjid di tengah ibu kota, di Restoran Khalifah, tiada di mana-mana. Athirah juga telah kehilangan jejaknya. Ke mana ‘dia’ menghilang? Hati Ulya dipagut resah. ‘saya masih perlukan ruang untuk diri saya sendiri’. Takkanlah tindakan nekadku itu membuat ‘dia’ menjauh diri?. Ulya mati akal.

Minggu keempat. Ulya harus melakukan sesuatu. Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan.

13 Mei 2005

Hari ini adalah hari yang paling ‘istimewa’ dalam hidupku. Mendapat titipan kata-kata dari ‘dia’.

Zahratul Ulya,

Ulya memang istimewa di hati saya. Membaca nukilan pandangan kritis mahu pun puisi puitis Ulya menggamit hati saya mengenali penulisnya, Syifa’. Melalui Editor Majalah Usrati, saya mengetahui serba sedikit mengenai Ulya. Tak sangka kita berjiran dan kerap pula bersua, walau tidak bersapa. Maha berkuasa Allah!

Ulya,

Hidup ini fana. Setiap sesuatu yang ada di dunia ini adalah milik Allah dan akan kembali kepadaNya jua. Inilah hakikat hidup. Alhamdulillah, saya di pilih Allah untuk memahami hakikat ini, sebelum terlambat. Didatangkan peringatan ini dengan pemergian sahabat, Atif Tanveer.

Tahun-tahun di Purdue adalah saat yang ‘indah’ bagi yang berjiwa muda seperti saya. Segala bentuk kemaksiatan yang tidak akan dilakukan oleh Muslim yang beriman adalah ‘hidup’ saya di Purdue. Melayu yang hilang kemelayuannya. Muslim yang hanya tinggal nama. Dunia yang terlalu gelap. Sejarah yang amat hitam yang ingin saya lupuskan dari kotak ingatan.

Di tahun akhir pengajian, saya ditemukan dengan Atif, serasa saya satu-satunya pelajar yang berjambang lebat di Purdue Universiti. Dan lazimnya, dengan identiti sedemikian, mudah sahaja dia mendapat gelaran ‘extremist, Muslim terrorist’. Setelah Mark Johannson tamat pengajiannya dan pulang ke tempat asalnya, Atif Tanveer yang ‘mendapat perhatian’ ramai itu menjadi teman serumah saya. Di mana-mana sahaja dia berada pasti ada mata-mata yang memandang serong. Sesetengahnya sarat kebencian. Tapi Atif seperti biasa. Dia tetap seorang Muslim yang taat. Atif gembira kerana teman serumahnya adalah seorang Muslim. Bagi saya kehadiran Atif Tanveer adalah bala.

Atif Tanveer sentiasa solat di awal waktu dan tidak pernah meninggalkan solat Jumaat walau terpaksa menempuhi perjalanan selama satu jam untuk ke masjid yang terdekat. Atif selalu mengingatkan saya tentang solat, larangan minum dan pergaulan bebas dengan wanita-wanita. Jiwa saya sesak! Ini Amerika bukan macam di Pakistan tempat asal mu itu! Di bumi Amerika yang bebas ini, setiap orang berhak melakukan apa sahaja! Ini negara bebas. Kan di bumi Amerika ini tersergam indah Statue of Liberty? Kau jangan jadi kolot Atif! Dan kalau kau nak kekal jumud, tolong jangan ajar aku jadi jumud macam kau!! Begitulah betapa bencinya saya pada Atif Tanveer.

Atif Tanveer tahu saya meluat dengannya. Dia arif benar kebencian saya terhadapnya. Tapi dia tetap bermanis muka, dan kerap pula datang ke bilik, bercerita tentang macam-macam perkara. Banyak yang saya tidak tahu atau memang tidak berminat untuk ambil tahu. Atif paling suka bercerita tentang Hamas, tentang Intifadha. Tentang syahiid, jihad. Atif kata nama saya indah maknanya. Yang syahid. Yang mati syahid di jalan Allah. Macam Syeikh Ahmad Yassin katanya. Siapa Syeikh Ahmad Yassin?Nama Ahmad Musyaahiid itu arwah Tokwan yang bagi. Yang mati maksudnya??

Suatu malam minggu, seperti biasa saya pulang lewat pagi. Anak muda seperti saya tentu saja penuh aktiviti di malam minggu. Hidup muda hanya sekali. Sampai di pangsapuri, saya lihat lampu meja Atif masih terpasang. Kesian kau Atif, orang lain seronok-seronok di luar, kau di meja belajar. Lantak kaulah! Ketika melewati biliknya, saya menoleh. Atif bukan di meja belajar. Atif bukannya berjaga mengulangkaji pelajaran. Tapi Atif Tanveer sedang sujud. Lama saya memerhatikan dia, tanpa disedarinya. Sujud yang lama, ketika sujud itu badan Atif terhenjut-henjut. Atif menahan tangis! Tiada yang jelas kecuali tangisannya. Ketika itulah suatu rasa yang pelik menyelinap ke dalam hati saya. Rasa takut? Bukan! Sedih? Juga bukan! Bukan rasa terkejut! Tapi perasaan itu sampai saat ini tidak tergambar dengan kata-kata. Suatu rasa yang tidak boleh saya kongsi dengan sesiapa. Badan saya terasa sejuk. Dan sehingga fajar keesokan harinya, saya tidak dapat melelapkan mata.

Pagi-paginya Atif Tanveer menyediakan sarapan ringkas. “Well Being Sandwich” katanya.“It tastes good, u will never find this anywhere else”. Sempat dia berjenaka. Sandwich itu ada serat dan cukup sayuran segar. Menu ringkas dan sihat untuk sahabat yang disayanginya, kata Atif lagi. Entah kenapa hari itu saya rasa mahu bercakap dengannya. Sebenarnya saya mahu bertanya kenapa dia menangis semalam. Tetapi terasa janggal. Terasa janggal untuk berbuat baik dengan orang yang saya anggap seperti musuh. Sambil makan Atif mengajak saya sembahyang Jumaat. Dia tahu saya ada kelas pagi nanti. Nanti katanya dia boleh tunggu saya di kafeteria.

Tidak seperti Jumaat-Jumaat yang lalu, hari itu saya terasa seperti mahu mengikutnya. Tapi lidah kelu untuk bersuara. Saya malu. Saya malu untuk solat. Saya sudah kekok untuk solat. Sudah bertahun-tahun saya tidak solat. Ah malunya! Seorang  Muslim malu untuk solat kerana dia sudah lupa bagaimana untuk melakukannya. Sungguh menyedihkan.

Saya diam. Diam yang tandanya tidak setuju. Atif, seperti biasa, tetap tersenyum. Dia memang manusia ‘ajaib’. Seharian itu saya bingung. Saya teringat Allah. Saya sebut Allah..Allah..Allah. Saya rasa mahu sembahyang. Saya teringat ayah ibu, arwah nenek dan Tokwan. Saya mahu Atif mengajar saya sembahyang.

Sudah lewat petang. Sepatutnya Atif sudah pulang. Selalunya dia solat Maghrib sendirian di rumah. Tapi Atif tidak juga muncul. Hati saya resah. Tiba-tiba sahaja timbul rasa sayang pada Atif Tanveer.

Malam. Atif masih belum balik. Saya menunggunya sehingga tertidur.

Pagi Sabtu yang sugul. Tidur saya dikejutkan dengan ketukan di pintu. Seorang lelaki dalam lingkungan usia 40 an, memperkenalkan dirinya sebagai Khurshid. Dia membawa khabar, Atif Tanveer telah pergi. Dia dilanggar kereta ketika cuba melintas jalan setelah usai menunaikan solat Jumaat. “We got this with him. A note for you”. Sekeping kertas di tangan Khurshid bertukar tangan.

Atif Tanveer telah pergi buat selamanya. Yang tinggal hanya nota itu,

“Ahmad.. There was a man who decides  to change on 12th hour, however he died on the 11th. It’s never too late to submit to your God. He loves you. Please answer His call for you will find complete freedom and happiness in this world and hereafter.”

Kata-kata terakhir itu membuka jalan hidayah. Melalui cinta Atif Tanveer saya kembali mencari cinta Ilahi yang hakiki. Hingga saat ini saya masih mencari. Pencarian ini tidak akan berakhir. Cinta Ilahi itu ada saja di mana-mana di sanubari kita. Ada di sekeliling kita. Namun, mencari cinta Ilahi itu tidak semudah memiliki cinta insani. Kerana itu saya di sini. Bersama saudara seaqidah yang lain, menjaga Masjidil Aqso dari dicerobohi Yahudi yang angkuh. Atif kata nama saya indah. Yang mati di jalan Allah. Saya mencari cintaNya di sini. Saya menagih janjiNya di sini. Saya menelusuri semangat As Syahiid Syeih Ahmad Yassin. Saya menemui ruh intifadha dalam jiwa anak-anak muda di Najah, Gaza, Al Khalil, Birzait, Al Quds. Di mana-mana sahaja di bumi bertuah ini saya dapat merasa ruh perjuangan. Saya dapat merasa panggilan cintaNya. CintaNya adalah yang pertama di strata sukma ini.

Strata Sukma

Strata sukma…

Bertatih mencari makna

Terus meningkat meniti cahaya

Di dalam hidup menjadi bintang dan pelita

Strata sukma

Mendamba ‘Syurga’ membawa ke Syurga.

HambaNya yang Dhaif

Ahmad Musyaahiid

Al Quds, Bumi Bertuah.

16 Mei 2005

Jurnal harian Ulya- “MENGENALI DIA” ternoktah di sini. Mengenali dia, Ahmad Musyaahid membuka lembaran baru mengenali DIA yang haqiqi. Ulya akan kenang Ahmad Musyaahiid, cinta Ulya di lapisan kedua dalam strata sukmanya.

Ulya ucap dalam-dalam, sepenuh pengharapan “Ya Allah, cintakanlah aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu, agar bertambah kekuatanku mencintaiMu”.

HuRRiYYati


Nov 15

taqidoc

taqidoc green

taqidoc2

Got 3 logos to select….finally i selected the green one….Actually the violet one is the best….but to make it suitable for the site as the site color is light yellowish brown…i chose the green logo.hehe

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